" YOU'VE SPENT YOUR WHOLE LIFE BEING TOLD THAT BEING A GOOD MAN IS ENOUGH.......IT ISN'T. "
-COLE WESTON
Greetings.
If you're reading this I'm willing to bet , as I was , you've been told the phrase "I love you, BUT, I'm not IN love with you".
If you've read the MY STORY page you'll know I went through what you are going through now, all the confusion, self-doubt, sense of loss, pain and feeling of being completely lost and vulnerable. On this page you will find quick access links to the help it took me months to find. Answers that helped me understand the phrase, why I was hearing it, and the pathways to recovery and, certainly in my case, a better life and relationships.
The help and answers come in many forms and levels of cost. There's books, podcasts, webpages, seminars, courses and coaching. My goal here is to simplify the choices for you as much as possible, and give you a brief, independent assessment of each from my experience, and hopefully get you moving forward much quicker than I did. The services and products will be broken into PREMIUM, ECONOMY, and FREE brackets, with a basic outline of each, how they helped me and how to access them.
By far the greatest help for me was a course/coaching platform that completely turned my thinking and life around. I am forever grateful for it. It is a premium level product, and you will need to assess if it fits your budget. You will find it below, along with all the other help, and more detailed descriptions.
Goodluck , I hope you find these tools, products and services as helpful as I did, and you not only find happiness and a strong and fulfilling relationship, but also the greatest version of yourself possible.
It's the life you deserve .
PREMIUM LEVEL HELP
Of all the help I used , this course was by far the best. Without being too dramatic, as I started this course I was not in a good place , having the thoughts no one should have, let alone a father of 2 amazing children (adults now). Not only did it address the reasons I had been told " I love you, but I'm not IN love with you", it helped me discover why I was the person I was, why some things were undoing all the good I did in my relationships, and gave me all the tools to become exactly who I wanted to be. It is a holistic online course where the awesome coaches run weekly group sessions (which make it easier, trust me) and some one on one sessions. Included is an amazing phone app that provides help tools at your finger tips any time you need them. For me the guided meditations included were extremely helpful, however there are many tools available to deal with all the confronting feelings and situations you may be dealing with , and they're available instantly.
I can't recommend this course highly enough, IT SAVED MY LIFE. It is a significant investment, one that was difficult for me to fund, however given the benefit of hindsight, was the best investment I've ever made, so much so, on completion of the course I immediately signed up for the follow up course on personal growth.
For further information and how to book a free consultation with their coaches/councillors, please shoot me an email on the below link and we'll get the ball rolling .
mailto:iloveyoubut@outlook.com.au
ECONOMY LEVEL HELP
BE THE ONLY MAN SHE NEVER LEAVES- COLE WESTON
This book was written for every man that's been told "I love you, but I'm not in love with you".
'You've spent your whole life being told that being a good man is enough. It's not.'
This quote from the book hits the nail on the head. We have to learn how to live for ourselves again, how to be the leader she wants to see, the strong man that makes her feel safe. It can be you.
click the link below to get your copy from Amazon.
FIERCE INTIMACY- TERRY REAL
This book was the first recommended to me in my journey. I have since found it is well renowned in relationship counselling circles, and with good reason. It teaches communication with love and respect, despite arguments. It alerts you to your triggers and self sabotaging habits. This book was the first tool that set me on my path to recovery. As I work on the road, the audio version was great to listen to as I travelled during the day, or on the headphones on my daily walks. I highly recommend it.
Just click on the Amazon link below to get your copy.
THE SCHOOL OF GREATNESS- A REAL WORLD GUIDE TO LIVING BIGGER,LOVING DEEPER,AND LEAVING A LEGACY.
-LEWIS HOWES
A framework for personal development, The School of Greatness gives you the tools, knowledge, and actionable resources you need to reach your potential. Howes anchors each chapter with a specific lesson he culled from his greatness "professors" and his own experiences to teach you how to create a vision, develop hustle, and use dedication, mindfulness, joy, and love to reach goals. His lessons and practical exercises prove that anyone is capable of achieving success and that we can all strive for greatness in our everyday lives.
click the link below for your copy.
STOP CHASING, START LEADING - SCOTT GARDINER
This one gets right to the heart of the matter. Short , sharp, its gets to the cold hard facts of basic attraction between men and women, and how , as men we need to remember our basic instincts . For me, the things I needed to change ran deeper for longer, and I needed a bit more than this book provided, however it does clarify what is needed relatively quickly, and can help you understand the next steps you may need to take to put in place the characteristics the book describe.
THE SUCCESSFUL MAN JOURNAL - A DAILY SELF-MASTERY AND HABIT TRACKER
To become the man she stays IN love with , we have to be and live that man. It requires daily habits that demonstrate you're that man . This journal is the guide you need to live as that man on a daily basis. Breaking it down to daily tasks makes the transformation much easier, helping you build yourself into the man you never knew you could be, and the one she never leaves. You will build habits, strengths and traits that will give you the confidence to live the life you've always wanted , with the person you're supposed to live it with .
THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F*CK
-MARK MANSON
In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.
For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected modern society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.
Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.
There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.
click below to get you copy
FREE HELP
One of the best tools that helped me recover, grow, understand myself and why I felt the way I did, why I was in the position I was, and how I could rise above it all, was listening to podcasts. Here are the podcasts that lifted me and allowed me to discover the real me, the strong version of myself that deals with problems not complains that problems arise. Problems will always surface in our lives, we just need to know we always had the tools to deal with them. You will also learn you already have the tools to create the life you've always wanted, and the relationships you deserve.
Check them out .
BE BETTER EVERYDAY (SPOTIFY)
This podcast features famous life coaches such as Dr Joe Dispensa, Jim Rohn and Neville Goddard. You will learn the power of your mind, the skills you didn't even know you had, and the calm, strength, and knowledge to deal with relationships, love , emotions, and even money. I still listen several times a day . Highly recommend.
https://open.spotify.com/show/4S4IHMb9UiRAWOIu6xM3JF?si=LkBxAEDRRF615t6HeZCJ6g
THE SCHOOL OF GREATNESS- LEWIS HOWES (APPLE PODCASTS)
Lewis Howes is a New York times best selling author, 2 time All American athlete, keynote speaker and entrepreneur. His knowledge and insights on life and living it are amazing. His inspiring interviews with the most successful people in the world will show you that greatness lies within us all. These people have risen from exactly where you are to totally fulfilling lives. We all have access to the tools, they lie within us. Lewis and his guests show you how to discover what's really within you and how to unlock it.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-school-of-greatness/id596047499
THE REALITY REVOLUTION
-BRIAN SCOTT
While this podcast may not be for everyone, it has totally opened my mind to our ability to create, feel, and manifest the life and relationships we seek. I listen to this podcast during my morning and evening exercise routines, and I have found significant improvement in my relationships, finances, and most of all my general outlook on life. Instead of feeling like the world and circumstances are deciding my fate, I've learned through these podcasts I have the power to control how I react, understand my feelings, and even drive and manifest who and what comes into my life. Some episodes are a bit "out there" for me, however the vast majority have had a profound positive influence on my thinking and general outlook. Highly recommend.
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-reality-revolution-podcast/id1453148416