Hi.

If you're reading this I'm willing to bet the woman you love with all your heart has told you "I love you, BUT I'm not IN love with you" ?

If so, I just want to say I know how you're feeling. It happened to me. Through this page I hope to guide you to the help that got me through it. The help I was able to  find not only got me through it, actually lead me to the best, happiest version of myself I've ever been. My goal here is to get that help to you MUCH quicker than it was for me, and give you much less time feeling all the doubt, shame, hurt, and confusion, but most of all , I  hope to help you find the best version of yourself you've ever known, and all that life will bring that version of you.

Below is my story, If you wish to read it I'm pretty sure yours would be very similar. Otherwise, jump over to the HELP/ANSWERS page for the resources that lifted me to the person I'd always wanted to be, and the relationships I'd always wanted .

 

 

She stood in the middle of our kitchen, showing me a blank, emotionless face I'd never seen in our 8 years together. The world seemed to instantly flip to a different dimension, and as I sat at our kitchen table I was overwhelmed with a dread that consumed me. Suddenly, all that had felt right with the world was gone, and I knew in my heart nothing was going to be the same from now on.  She looked at me with a face that didn't seem like it was even her, then the words came out .

"Jeff, I love you, BUT I'm not IN love with you ".

I sat there, trying to take the words in. What the fuck does that mean ? , I thought to myself.  My typical male default fallback was to instantly think '"ok, I can fix this".

In the following days I went into research overdrive. I googled the phrase, visited countless websites, pages, blogs etc. Listened to podcasts and watched Youtube videos. They all seemed to perfectly describe my situation and profess a deep knowledge and understanding of what the phrase meant.

But none were offering a solution unless I signed up , and that was where the information always got vague.

"What does this cost ?"
"Is this one a scam ?"
"Not sure that suits me?"
"How long will that take ?"

Most options posed more questions for me than they answered . I already felt completely exposed and vulnerable, imagine having my relationship fall apart, then getting scammed out of a heap of money trying to find a solution ! I didn't know which way to go, I was overwhelmed with options , but completely devoid of the confidence to make a decision that I knew I had to make . All I wanted was to save my relationship, and I was prepared to do whatever it took, I just didn't know  which of the plethora of options available on the  internet  was going to be what I needed, and would suit both my relationship situation and my financial situation.

I got lucky.  I stumbled upon a counselling/ life coaching program that a guy who I knew personally, was an ambassador for .  This guy was one of the most successful , strong and confident people I knew. I thought if he's supporting it , at least there's a connection I know, it can't be too dodgy. That made the decision easier for me, when I really had no idea which way to go. It was the best thing I did, and as I said I got lucky, very few of you will stumble upon a connection like I did.  Unfortunately the program didn't save my relationship, sadly the things I needed to learn and change came too late for that. But it did SAVE MY LIFE.

IT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S TO LATE TO SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP !

I wish I had learned what I know now so much earlier. The answers to why I was who I was, why everything I tried so hard to be as a husband and a father hadn't worked. Why being everything you THOUGHT she wanted, was actually pushing her away and removing the underlying traits that build and consolidate her genuine LOVE for you.

I now have the luxury of hindsight, and I can't help but think of the many guys that end up facing the same dilemma I did, faced with a confusing , double meaning statement that feels impossible to understand, no answers , and no idea where to turn.

On this website , you will find all tools that helped me understand and recover from "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you".

There are no guarantees when it comes to relationships, and which help that is best for you will vary from what was right for me. There will be ups and downs as you grow and begin to understand.  Some of you may save your relationship, and some may, like me, lose a relationship that you felt was your whole world, but in the process, actually discover the version of themselves they wished they'd always been ! AND , most importanly, discover the real life they'd always wanted, and a relationship with real chances of success.

The course that "SAVED ME" wasn't cheap, and won't be in everyone's budget. It actually wasn't something I had the money for, but I found a way because I was desperate, and I had a level of confidence through the guy I knew.  I'M NOT SUGGESTING YOU SHOULD BORROW MONEY to find the help you want. There will be help available at all cost levels, and tools to suit your own personal situation that will be featured. I am just trying to give you a short cut to the help I know was great for me, and a level confidence that its relevant to your situation.

If you've got this far I just want to say I know exactly how your feeling, I was in your shoes . The absolute truth is THE BEST IS IN FRONT OF YOU !

Whether it is with the person who told you they love you, but just aren't IN love with you, or a different path forward altogether, the tools are here to guide you to the version of you that lives the life you've always wanted. The funny thing is, that life is rarely on the path or in the form we imagined.